To be honest

Life is far from perfect.

 

After deciding to go all in on turning pro, 3 days later I had a pretty hard fall during a trail run. If you didn’t already see, I was running down a hill and a woman walking her 2 dogs was coming up. In order not to run over the pups, I pulled up short and went down hard. I didn’t think much of it. I immediately dusted myself off, assessed that I had some scrapes and bruises, and kept running. Stupidly, I went for a swim almost immediately after this. I heard a very distinct “POP” in my shoulder while swimming. It was not good.

 

In denial and hoping things would go away, I didn’t go to the doctor. But after being in constant pain for nearly 2 weeks, I finally went to a physical therapist (Four3 to be exact!). Thankfully, nothing was torn, but my rotator cuff was inflamed. Swimming was definitely off the table for at least 3-4 weeks. Biking hurt, running hurt, sleeping hurt. Everything hurt and it was not something I was used to.

 

My fragile demeanor shattered. After Kona, my wedding, and starting my job as a Head Coach for a brand new swim program last season, my triathlon off season had been anything from ideal. After coming off such an extreme high, I took some time off from training. After getting back into it, I got more sick than I have been in a really long time. As time went on, I patched together what I could but found myself stressed out, isolated, unmotivated and dare I say it, depressed. I gained weight and was not consistently training.

 

I think we all suffer from doubt, fear, and lack of motivation even in the pursuit of doing something we really want, love or dream of. In fact, in wanting something SO much we might actually actively do things to prevent those goals from happening due to abject fear of failure. Right when you get to that precipice on the abyss of what you want most, you yank back the reins for fear of falling over and making a fool out of yourself.

 

My world over the past few months have been some of the toughest to date to get through. It’s terrifying to admit when something is wrong, when we all put on this picture perfect lense of what we think our lives should look like to everyone around us. It may not look like anything is wrong on the surface, but who knows what is going on in someone else’s life or what they are going through. I am guilty of scrolling through other people’s Instagrams and Facebooks, and just finding myself inadequate. So I am here to admit that my life is not perfect, in fact far from it. Why do we feel the need to project this onto ourselves and to others?

 

There are aspects of my life I absolutely love, and other parts I find myself wishing were different. But don’t we all? The difference is in how you approach your every day life. In the people you choose to surround yourself with. Celebrate the things that you love, foster them, cherish them. Try to improve the things you don’t care for as much. At times, those things might be out of your control and you may need to get the heck out of a situation that is not healthy.

 

So it is time to change a few things for the better. To appreciate the things that are already pretty great even more. And one of those things I need to change is my outlook on my world in every day life.

 

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2017: Lava Field of Dreams

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What up world? How has 2017 been treating you so far? It has been crazy busy so far for me. I realized I need to actually start planning out my summer because there is so much happening! It’s that time in my life where a lot of my friends are starting to get married and I am going to be travelling a whole lot this summer. Oh and I guess I need to start planning my wedding too. Less than 9 months to go! Wait, really? Anyway, here’s a little recap of my 2016 goals and what my plans are for 2017!

Here were my goals for 2016:

  1. Win my age group at Ironman Texas and qualify for Kona (didn’t happen)
  2. Defend my title and win Ironman New Orleans 70.3 (didn’t happen)
  3. Finish in the Top 25 at the Ironman 70.3 World Championships (didn’t happen)
  4. Go to Kona and enjoy the experience (didn’t happen)

But guys, here is what DID happen:

  1. Won my age group at Ironman Louisville and qualified for Kona (booyah!)
  2. Got 3rd place at IM New Orleans 70.3 and qualified for the Ironman 70.3 World Championships in Mooloolaba, Australia! (opportunity of a life time)
  3. Placed 30th and trained through 70.3 World Championships in order to focus on the bigger picture (aka Kona)
  4. Got the opportunity to train for another year for the Big Dance in 2017!

All in all, it was a pretty fantastic year. I wouldn’t have known that as things were unfolding, however, I am happy where things did end up. Goals and dreams may not always happen when you expect them to, or how you expect them to, but if you just keep trying, they will happen.

In 2017, I have some even BIGGER goals. Here they are:

  1. Get in legit Sports Illustrated shape for the world wide famous underpants run in Kona. As my coach said, this is the pinnacle of my 2017 race schedule 😉
  2. Get my pro card. This has been a dream in the making for me for a very long time. Actually since my first triathlon back in 2009! But this year, I want it to become a reality.                                 fullsizerender                                                  A tweet from back in 2009
  3. Place in the top 10 at the Olympic Distance National Championships in Omaha.
  4. Enjoy the experience at Kona but also go in being prepared to kick some serious @$$!
  5. Become a more confident cyclist.

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I kind of imagine this year being like the lava fields on Kona. Traveling down the Queen K with endless possibilities stretched out before me. Lava fields will be enveloping me on either side, in every direction, roasting in the sunlight. The heat and wind will be beating me down from all different directions, forcing me to maintain focus until reaching the turnaround at Hawi. Even then, the headwinds can change direction and come rushing back into your face, as you scream down the descent, holding on for dear life. If I run out too far into the Energy Lab, I may get burned or lost out in the abyss. Or there could be an oasis of opportunity on the other side down Palani around the corner. But I have to stay focused in order to reach the final stretch on Alii Drive where my heart will finally sing with infinite joy…