So yesterday was Blue Monday…supposedly the most depressing day of the year. I don’t know if I’m just exhausted from all the training or what, but I’ve been sort of in a funk since Christmas. Some days I’m up and the next it takes everything in me to drag myself to go for a run or do a spin.
Some of it is not being able to work out outside. I miss running on the trails and in the fresh air. I’ve been all cooped up in the gym at my apartment. There is this one dodgy guy who keeps coming in when I’m there late at night and paces around. Every once in a while, he’ll do a rep on a weight machine or with some free weights and grunt. He’ll take a sip of water and go weigh himself in the corner but mostly he just paces around and checks his phone. It actually makes me nervous. And he always wears the same Michigan sweater.
Another part is, I miss working out with a group of friends. During the summer, every single weekend there would be a huge group of us going out for a group ride or run. It really helped the time go by a lot faster. Don’t get me wrong, I love training with you Katiepants! But we are just doing different work outs, so I don’t always get to hang out with you. Which makes me sad. Some people are taking time off of training, doing a smaller load, have work or are part of another season of Team in Training. And again, I’m really missing my TNT family. It just didn’t make much sense for me to do this season of Lavaman because I have such a huge work out load in preparation for Ironman New Zealand. *Sigh, such severe FOMO. However, I still get to do Lavaman which makes it slightly better.
But a huge aspect of this is I have been training for soooooooo long! Between November 2012 and now, I’ve had 2 whole weeks off of training. That’s not a lot. Not even a little bit. I’m sort of feeling how I did at the end of last year’s Lavaflower season after 7 months of straight training. Feeling kind of burned out. All I want to do is eat, sleep and drink without a care in the world like a normal 25 year old.
But. That’s not who I am. Or who I have chosen to be.
On Sunday, my week had consisted of 10 hours of biking, 4 1/2 hours of running and 3 hours of swimming. I was mentally and physically exhausted. And I still had not done my planned 1 ½ long run yet. It was 8:00 at night, I was curled up in bed reading A Dance with Dragons. I pushed myself to get out of bed, promising that I would do at least an hour of running and then maybe the extra 30 or another 1 ½ run on Monday. The first 30 minutes were terrible! Awful, I tell you. My legs felt like bricks and I felt like I was slamming them down, one on top of the other on the treadmill. And by all means I should have been ecstatic to run without a set heart rate goal, any hill repeats or any guidelines whatsoever. But I was dreading every single moment of it. But somewhere around 45 minutes I hit that sweet runner’s high and I was golden. When the rent a cop came into the gym at 10 pm to tell me to kick me out all I wanted to do was keep running!
Once I’ve ever started a work out, I have never regretted it. But just getting to the point where you go make yourself do it is what I am struggling with. Even now, I have slipped back into that funk. I don’t want to go do that active recovery run I have planned after work. I just want to go pull the covers over my head and sleep for 14 hours.
So friends, family, strangers, whoever is reading this, what do you do when you’re feeling down, burning out, or need an extra kick in the pants?