The Top 3 Do’s and Dont’s of Coast Ride and Other Bike Tours

DO’S

1.  DO bring tons of Chamois Butt’r.

There is no such thing as too much Chamois Butt’r! No such thing! Chamois Butt’r can be squirting out of your bike shorts and it is still not too much (just ask Sam). Make sure you lather up everywhere and everything. This involves a layer of tri glide and then copious amounts of butt’r on top of your butt’r. This means packing multiple tubes of Champois Butt’r and additionally carrying the little mini travel size. Seriously guys, this shit is your best friend.

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2.  DO eat a LOT.

You’re burning thousands of freaking calories. After a while you will actually grow TIRED of eating so much. So make sure and pack plenty of options. You never know what you are going to want. And if you have time, stop and have a real meal. Except, if you are doing a 130 mile ride that involves 12,000 feet of climbing because then you might actually not make it to your hotel before the sun goes down.

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3.  DO bring a different set of riding clothes for every day.

You are not going to smell like the human embodiment of sweat after working your butt all day in the sun. It’s just kind of reality.  Bonus Pro Tip: Pack a garbage bag (preferably scented) to pack all your dirty clothes in. You don’t want to cart a bunch of nasty laundry around for days on end.

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DONT’S

1.  DO NOT do a bike tour on a triathlon/TT bike.

I don’t care if you think you’re more comfortable on your tri bike than on your road bike, or don’t even have a road bike. Get one. A ride like this consists of a lot of pace lines. You can’t do a pace line in aero bars unless you want to die. However, I will admit, by the time the ride was coming to an end, my butt had either become so numb that it didn’t matter anymore or my seat had just permanently embedded a spot that felt oddly comfortable.

ImageBecause it feels sort of like this. Not an exaggeration.

2.  DON’T wear white bike shorts.

Seriously. It’s never a good idea to wear white bike shorts. Even after Labor Day, or any time.

ImageUnless you are this guy. Then maybe you can wear white bike shorts.

3. DON’T eat at hole in the wall Mexican Restaurants.

Just don’t. That should go without explanation.

ImageJust think of that coming out of your white bike shorts.

So there you have it. My top 3 DO’S and DON’TS!

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One thought on “The Top 3 Do’s and Dont’s of Coast Ride and Other Bike Tours

  1. I have a couple of those small tubes of chamois buttr, but I haven’t had to use them yet. I figure my time will come though!

    On top of white shorts, I vote no on gray shorts either. I had a pair of gray running shorts once, and when I got back from a sweaty run one day, I looked down and was mortified to see if totally looked like I had pee’d myself. Never again will I buy gray shorts.

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