Most of you don’t know, but after a routine check up with the doctor after moving to Indiana, I had some abnormal test results come back. A call from my doctor gave me the worst news of my life: I may have cancer. I haven’t said anything to this point, because it is something I am still processing. It was something that I could not wrap my head around. It just didn’t seem real. I didn’t want to say anything to the general public until I knew it was something or if it turned out to not be anything at all.
They referred me to a specialist for the area of cancer and I waited the 2 very longest weeks of my life for a biopsy. I did research and hoped for the best. Then, I sat alone on the table, tears rolling down my face as they took the samples for testing. It would be another few days before I got the results. The specialist told me that is was definitely pre-cancerous cells and could be the early stages of cancer. They gave me a pamphlet and I left as fast as I could. The pamphlet gave me probably the worst news that I could imagine, I may never be able to have kids. I have never cried so hard in my life.
I was thousands of miles away from my family and my friends. I just had my boyfriend Matt telling me that it was going to be ok. It was my triathlon coach, a two time survivor of cancer, who gave me the most comforting words of everyone, “I’m sorry you have to go through this.” I went home to be with my family as I waited for the news, to see if my life would be changed forever. And that call finally came, the results were negative for cancer…for now. I still had pre-cancerous cells that could still turn into cancer, but for now, it was not. I have to go back for a check up in the next few months, to make sure that nothing has turned for the worse. It’s the weirdest thing knowing there is something so lethal inside me, potentially laying in wait to strike when I could least expect it.
So I have chosen to live life even more. There’s no time to waste. The thing I have noticed the most, is that I just smile at random strangers more often and strike up more conversations. We never know what another person is going through from the outside. But a simple smile just can lighten up the face of someone you don’t know, and that is a great gift to be able to give at no cost.
Thanks for the positive words of everyone, I will continue to keep living life as it was meant to be lived, with as much adventure and fun as possible. Love and health to you all.